Once upon a time...

I was the worlds biggest asshole.

The end.


I messed up big time... I'm sorry Sarah.  :(

Indianapolis's and New Orleans's Musuems of Art are in a wager over the Super Bowl.  I find this endlessly hysterical.


GO COLTS!

So I'm at work today preparing a return for a client, and trying to explain to him how the EIC works, which is essentially on a bell-curve for income.  So I'm drawing him the picture of basically a little hill, and then I circle the top showing him where the EIC would max out and start to decline.  That seemed to help him understand why he was getting the refund he was and we moved on with the process.

When his return was complete and I was handing him all the papers he needed to take with him, he said, "Do I get to take the dirty picture too?"  I turned around the picture I had drawn for him (because I had drawn it upside down) and OMG it totally looked like a boob.  I just laughed and thankfully he didn't ask again if he could take it with him!

I bet we get referrals from that guy!  lol

So my mom tells this joke about a little boy who is helping his mother carry groceries home and he dropped his paper bag into a puddle.  "Jesus Christ God Almighty!"  he yelled in frustration.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG MAN?!" his mother demanded.

".............uh, Cheese and crackers got all muddy!"


It still makes me chuckle.

Also, go vote in my cheese poll!  LOL

I keep coming here, trying to post something worthy of notice, and then I just don't feel it so I wander away, leaving the post window open and then when I finally get back to it, it's lame and I don't go anywhere.

( 2009 went out with dinner and a movie, 2010 came in with a trip to the ER! (thankfully noone in the immediate family!) )

Monday I started my Tax Prep Class.  I really like it, and think I will be good at it.  It's been a tough week, though, with working and board meetings and a 4-5 hour class every day.  I miss my kids, and miss getting to tuck them in at night.  The class ends with a 9-6 class on Saturday, and it's about 45 minutes from home so it will be a looong day, but hopefully it will be worth it!  After that I have to pass a Level I certification course and then I will be legally allowed to prepare your tax return.  The base pay isn't that great, but I will earn a 3% commission on each return I process.  So yay for that.  Now I need to find a sitter for Heidi 2 days a week.  That's the part that breaks my heart, I am going to miss being with her during the day.  A lot.  But we all need this, and I think it will be good for me to get out of the house, even if it's just two days a week.

The chair of the marketing committee had assigned me the job of designing the direct mailer for LF's open house at the end of the month, which was due at the end of the year.  Got that accomplished, and everyone was really pleased with the result.  Yay for validation, lol.

Anyway, so that's what I've been up to and why I've been largely absentee of late.  Big changes underfoot - I may become a real grown-up yet!

Look what I made for the LF basketball parents!! :D



The LF's were pretty simple, but darnit if that intricate artwork about killed me.  Hence the solitary Trojan.  LOL

So last night we were playing "Catch Phase" and the hint for the other team was "women wear this and it's sexy...." and Dave yells out, "AN APRON!"  My mom fell over laughing while my dad turned and looked at him. 

Dave said, "Well... have you tried my wife's cooking? ..... see?"

someone commented on my anonymous happy post that they wanted to friend me but were a coward. I'm like the lamest person on LJ, so I don't know why anyone would feel that way. LOL

I really wish I knew who it was, though!!


But I do understand... I'm still in awe that most of my friends list accepted me as a friend, because, well, I've never had much of a self-esteem. I'm fat and have bad hair and a stupid laugh and I am the QUEEN of "Open Mouth, Insert Foot".

But you know what else I know about myself? I have awesome eyes. I have great taste in glasses. I dress well. I'm fiercely loyal. Even if my laugh is stupid, I still do it... a lot! I'm witty and fun. I like to drink and I love Jesus, and I don't care if you do or don't do either of those things. I have friends in their 50's, and I have friends in their 20's. I like that about me.



That being said, you're all the best friends list I could have ever put together. ♥

'Tis the season to... make a million memes to let everyone know just how much you appreciate them and love them. :D

Here's the plan: You comment with your username, and people will comment ANONYMOUSLY with things they love and cherish about you. I say anonymously because it makes the atmosphere lighter and more mysterious, kind of like a Secret Santa only with love and holiday cheer! People will wonder who these caring people are and appreciate the fact that they exist, not only the fact that they may be best friends with them.

Then find people you care about and have something nice to say to - even if you don't know them! - and leave them something that will make their heart feel a little warmer at night. This way, the love will go around and around and the magical spirit of the season can be cherished and appreciated by all.

Follow me to the meme!

haaaaaahahaha, this is so great:

oh yeah, and this gem I found when I was cleaning off my desk... it's in Alice's handwriting.... LOL

I'm so tired I can't even keep my eyes open... and then I go to bed and my eyes pop open and stay that way. UGH.


Who wants to buy a black leather couch?

OMG the wind is so loud!

Have you ever been so stressed out that your scalp feels like it is shrinking on your head? lol, it tingles!

Heidi: Mommy, I'm going to draw a picture!
Me: Oh, that's nice... what are you going to draw?
Heidi: My face, and my cute little butt.
Me: :)
Heidi: And then I'll draw you, and your really big butt!

Heidi: Mommy I have to go potty.
Me: K, you can go.

Heidi: *climbs up on the potty* *grunts* Happy Birthday Potty!

Me: ???
Me: Heidi, whatcha doin' in there?
Heidi: It's the toilet's birthday, Mommy. I'm giving him hims present.